Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Temper Tantrums & Trouble Sharing

I think we have reached a more challenging phase with Miles and Vivienne.  They both seem to be getting their molars, which is making for some fussy toddlers.  I don't give them anything for their teeth yet, but I might try giving Vivienne a little Tylenol today.  We can see her two top molars coming in, and she has been sticking her fingers back in her mouth over the past couple of days.  I'm sure that they are bothering her.

The kids are also learning to share.  Sometimes they share very well.  Vivienne will pick up both lovies, and she will crawl over to Miles and give him his.  It's very sweet.  Other times, they don't share too well.  Miles will crawl over to sit on my lap, and then Vivienne will quickly crawl over to me, already starting to cry, and try to push Miles out of my lap.  This happens at least 4 times a day, sometimes more.  I usually just try to hold both of them and remind her that we have to share (though I'm not sure that she can hear me over her wailing?).

They are also having to learn to share their toys.  One child will be playing with a toy and the other child will decide that they want it.  They either snatch it away from the first child or they begin a tug-of-war.  Inevitably, these incidents end in a dual wailing session.  I just try to go to my happy place in my head so that it's not a three-way wailing session.  =)

I have also seen the beginnings of temper tantrums.  Miles wanted to play with my iPhone this morning.  I took it away from him, and he completely lost control of himself.  He was crying, rolling around on the floor, completely inconsolable.  I immediately decided to just put them both down for a nap.  I think that they are both tired this morning, and it is resulting in some cranky and emotional babies. 

So this stage of parenting is really honing my patience.  I want to try to prevent myself from getting too irritated or losing my temper.  That wouldn't help anything, and I think that that would just elevate the emotional response in Miles and Vivienne.  I'm trying to keep a cool head, saying a lot of prayers and help Miles and Viv learn to manage their emotions. 


  1. Amen! Glad to hear my kids are also being totally normal and acting the exact same way every day. We are having lots more tantrums and lots of difficulty sharing toys (and Mom's lap). I think I was just surprised it started so early! Hang in there, you're doing great.

  2. I have heard that children don't actually understand (aren't capable of understanding) the idea of 'sharing' until they are several years old...and that trying to force them to just frustrates them. With Adria, we tried to focus on the concept of 'taking turns' instead. It seems like a small distinction, but turns seem to be something they can get sooner, and it seemed to work reasonably well for us.

  3. I'm essentially making them take turns with toys, but sometimes I say that we have to "share" it or that "he has that now and you have to wait." I'm not sure that they even really understand what I'm saying at this point. Maybe I don't give them enough credit. The biggest issue is when they don't want to share ME. I just let them both sit in my lap and if one of them is having a tantrum about it, I just wait it out until they gain control of themselves again - but I don't put either of them down because I just cannot choose one over the other.

  4. Hi Leslie! We are enjoying ;) ;) tantrums at the Higgins household as well. Must be double the "fun" with two! I will soon be joining that boat. Extra prayers going your way for these challenging days that all parents face! Love ya!

  5. Tantrums are being enjoyed over here too! I think this is just the beginning. I'm scared for the "terrible" 2s & 3s!!