Thursday, January 13, 2011

Twin Moms, You Can Do This!

I have had a difficult time balancing the positives and the negatives when speaking with expecting moms of twins.  On the one hand, I want to give them encouragement about all the wonderful aspects of being a twin mom.  On the other hand, I want to prepare them for the challenge ahead and let them know that they shouldn't feel like the "odd woman out" if the road is rocky at first.

When I was pregnant, I ran into a lot of naysayers.  I also had many people who were encouraging, but it was the naysayers who really gave me a lot of anxiety.  They would tell me things like,"Life, as you know it, is over" (said with a very pessimistic tone of voice) and "you won't be able to breastfeed twins."  Strangers would say things like,"Twins?  Wow - glad it's you and not me."  "Good luck with that." 

I understand that we want to prepare new moms for the challenges of motherhood, but I think it's inappropriate to say these things without telling expecting mommies that they will love their babies more than they knew possible, that their lives will have more depth and meaning that they could ever imagine and that motherhood is the most wonderful gift.  

Don't get me wrong - there were plenty of days where I was crying, holding a screaming baby and praying that Jason's car would turn the corner onto our street. But I haven't had one of those days for months and months now.  Even on those days, in those teary moments, I would have told you that I would never trade this experience for anything in the world.

So if you find yourself in tears after your babies are born, know that you're not a bad mom.  Every mom has had those moments.  (I have had many, many of those moments.)  Don't think that every other mom has rainbows and sunshine at their immaculate house with their hair perfectly coiffed as they pull a hot meal out of the oven and have two happy smiling 2-week-old twins.  That's just not realistic.  

Twin mommies, you are BLESSED.  You are doubly blessed.  Surround yourselves by people who encourage you and remind you of what an incredible adventure this is and what an amazing mother you are.  Remember that the work that you are doing is extremely important.  You're saving the world one TWO babies at a time.


  1. Kudos to you for keeping it real yet encouraging others! That's what I always wanted from folks who had paved the road before me. A realistic view, but hope that better days will come.
    I'm sure that it has been/is tough at times, but you have made the process look effortless my friend!

  2. 100% agree! Never would I trade a minute of this, even though I have those days of hoping Jesse's key will be turning the door lock any moment. We are absolutely doubly blessed. Way to encourage.

  3. I had lots of those days with just one kid. Raising kids is not easy no matter what the circumstances. I try to tell moms that their kids don't need a prefect mom, 'good enough' will do. 18 years seems so long before you have kids and now it's way too short. I am really looking forward to doing it again in 6 months. But man I really wish there was a way to avoid the sleepless nights, everything is so much easier with sleep.

  4. Beautiful post Leslie! Yeah, I can't believe how many times I heard the "better you than me!" Yes, life has changed, but for the better! It's just more challenging now, but worth it.