I Think I Can

I think I have my own version of separation anxiety.  Around the time of the baby dedication at church, we had help here for over 2 solid weeks - one week with Jason's parents and then one week with my parents.  It was such a blessing to have help for such a long time.  I'm able to take long showers, get chores done, run errands, get my hair cut... it's wonderful.

However, I have noticed that when our visitors' departure is approaching, I start to feel anxiety about running solo with the babies again.  It's not strong anxiety, but it's anxiety nonetheless - I can feel the butterflies in my stomach as I start to wonder what I'm going to do when both babies cry, how I'm going to feed them both solid food at the same time (especially with Miles on a new "food strike"), how I'm going to manage Vivienne's increased dependency on having my arms to hold her (when they also have to hold her dear brother).

But our company always departs, and within the first hour, I remember how I do things around here.  The days go on and I mother these babies to the best of my abilities and we somehow all survive.  Not only do we survive, but I truly enjoy my days with them, even when we're just sitting on the floor of the family room playing with their toys and watching the rain fall outside.  It's no cake walk, but to say that it's worth the hard work is the understatement of my life.


Hopefully it will eventually sink in for me that I can do this and I'll be able to have company without having a panic attack when they leave.  I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...